Forgive- do I forgive or you?

Such a big word.Don't you think? I am not teaching Victoria to say I am sorry all the time. I wanna know what she is willing to do in exchange for what she has done to hurt another. I am teaching her acknowledgement. I don't want her to simply say "I am sorry" and that is that and then repeat the behavior. My spiritual minister, Amy Pierce says Forgive is "What will you 'give for'. It is not my place to forgive anybody's actions. That is that high and mighty ego or what I tell Victoria "the Bad Wolf" running the show. On a personal level I do my best to set this example to her. I can look try to look at the underlying reason of someone hurting me or me hurting them and see what I can learn from that. I am not gonna wave a magic wand and say "I forgive you or I accept you hurt me or I am sorry". I am gonna wanna know what I or they can do better to make this situation better.Sorry and Forgive. Such big words that people throw around way to easily thinking that it will always make things better. Or that it will justify actions or feelings of entitlement. And sometimes wanna hear it over and over and over and.......If you know me, then you know these words are not words I use often, bc the actions I take and the words I speak usually mean something to me. So I can assure you that if I do say them I mean them.  So let's leave it here....Can you forgive yourself? Apologize to yourself first? Because it all comes back to our Authentic Selves and how we allow the world to influence, define, or move us closer or away from one another.