To All the Students I Ever Taught

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As I was sitting the other day, it really began to sink in that 13 years is a very long time for a little business. There is so much I have learned thru trial and error and personal raw experiences that couldn't necessarily be taught in a book. But I can sure write a book on the experiences.

I was asked a few questions and I thought it would be fun to share in this writing since we are talking about 13 years.
Here is the question from a student: "I’d be curious to hear your reflections on teaching yoga for 13 years…what has the studio meant to you, lessons learned, etc.'

For 13 years the studio and the students have very much become a family of sorts. Like every family, there is a lot of ups and downs. As a child, it always made sense to me to work in my backyard in a cottage. I figure if I needed a space for Mami later in life, it would need to be a space that can be converted. Papi would be in the jungles of Panama, so a little space for Mami will be fine.

First, I am so grateful that Chris suggested I build in the backyard bc at the point that he did I was considering closing the studio. Realistically after the 2nd -3rd year of owning a studio it became really hard to deal and manage. Even today I think.... Maybe at times it is just too much to manage. Too many emotions, too much sharing at times, a lot of pressure constantly being interviewed by others. 1 interview is good, but every time I teach it is like an interview, bc it might take one wrong word to deter someone. Or is it a right word?
But at the end. It is my heart to teach and guide and to remain open to all the ups and downs.

So here, I will share the good and the not so good, which I considered my most valuable lessons from my students and teachers. I am grateful for them both, bc they helped me to stay on my path. What I am sharing are my perspectives as a Student, Teacher, Student again, and owner of a Yoga Studio.

I learned that like any sacred space one begins, there are 2 types of people. Over the last 13 years I have come to know these 2: Facades and Cores. This was one of my hardest lessons. I learned that there were both students and teachers that liked the "look" of yoga, but didn't really 'practice' it and then I learned there were were those who 'lived' it.
I learned some students wanted to be corrected and guided and some wanted to just be guided and not corrected. I learned the difference of Physical Hardwork, Mental Hardwork, and MINDBODY ORENDA Hard Work.

Beginning the studio, I learned that greed and entitlement from other teachers in the yoga world existed. I learned that my 'then' lack of boundaries hurt me alot, the way they lied and betrayed myself and students really shocked me. I learned how yoga could be very competitive and ego driven.

I Learned that there were also a great deal of yoga teachers that were Genuine, Sincere, Real, and Caring. Those really really really helped me tremendously in staying open as a business. ps Rachel Moninger from my first and 2nd locations & Monica (owner of OpenDoorNC)....I am forever grateful.

I watched that there were students that committed hardcore for 3 straight months and those that paced themselves to enjoy their journey.

I Learned about Struggle and Doubt in ways I never knew. We each have our Struggles, but I chose to open a space where people could authentically be safe to be and share. I learned that for some, Sharing later became an Embarrassment and then I learned that some were able to take that Sharing and that Vulnerability and Flourished and gained Strength and Power that took them where they needed to go next.

I Learned we all really go right where we need to next.
I learned people like to close the doors on themselves. I prefer to keep my open. Conversations are needed always and sometimes there are more than 1 conversation needed for the same topic.

I Learned about Honest Communicators and 1/2 Ass Communicators and non Communicators (which is a whole other form of communicating).
Some just told me what they think I wanted to hear instead of what they Honestly could have said, cheating us all out of experience.
Some told me Straight Up and those really make me happy! bc it helps to skip all the nonsense bs in my eyes.
I Learned to shift experiences so that people can slowly become more Honest and Sincere.
I learned to ask A Lot of questions to better understand.
Some liked the questions and some ran in the other direction.
With these I learned more about the Lazies and the Ambitious.

Some absolutely loved diving deep into their being, some were ready.
For some it wasn't the right time.
For some I was the right teacher, for some I wasn't.
I learned some people want something kinda....
Some really want something to change...
And others make it happen.
I make things happen.

I learned the many layers of Persistence from students.
I learned I enjoy people writing new chapters in their book of life, than rereading or hearing the same chapter over and over again.
I can easily say I have taught thousands of students and watching students change their lives for a more Fearless, Caring, Honest, Genuine life has been the greatest reward and motivator.

We have our Orenda- this is our essential energetic vibrational form.
If we lie to ourselves there, well then I learned .... good luck on the rest of that journey.
Then we have our Physical form- our bodies that carry us on the journey.
Then we have our Mental form- the chatter or non-chatter of the mind.
Then we have our Home structure - what houses our physical body and family; The space that mixes our energies and provides a space to grow outside of our physical mindbodies and where we can practice Honesty & Truth with those we were born with.
Then we have our Family. - a sample of the world.
Where we learn with one another communication and practicing what we believe.
The natural world. Ahhhh.... The original studio and home for us all.
And the Chaos of Life. - Try intermingling there and finding or maintaining your peace thru all the Trials and Tribulations and Attachments or Non Attachments and maintain your Core Orenda.

I loved Fear and Fearlessness the most. I learned the more we show our Vulnerability the easier it is.
I learned some only thrived on the negative aspects. For example... what stuck out more for you - the Negative examples or the positive? Reread and see for yourself what Sparks you? AND Some are able to see the hidden gifts within the words.

I remembered, 13 was Soleil's age when she passed. That I still get emotional when talking of her, writing all of this, and re reading it to myself.

But what I learned most, was that I was a reflection of all these students...
From Lazy, Ambitious, to sometimes communicating to not at all, to now always communicating. I learned that all motivators and leaders need motivators and leaders to guide them at times. I learned that I also like the aesthetic or look of yoga and the core values of yoga. That I was Persistent enough to make 13 years, and scared out of my mind the whole time. I learned to revolve around the axis so that I wouldn't be tossed in the absurdities of the Universe. I learned that My Fears in succeeding without a college degree caused lots of anguish, and then I learned those Fears taught me anything is possible. I learned you don't need a paper of a degree or money to follow your passion.
I learned, that I can't please everybody and don't need to. I learned that it is all okay and that I have to do the best I can everyday, so that I can keep sleeping at night. I learned that it hurt me and my family when I bottled things up. I learned that the Chaos of life and the little inconveniences were obstacles placed in my path to stay on my path.
I learned the essence of Life. The cycles of life. I learned that if strangers could trust me to lie down on my table and allow the Universal Energies to flow thru me to them, then I could trust others also.

I learned I am not a Healer. I am a Self Healing Educator and I prefer to let people heal themselves by doing their own work alongside me.

I learned that I am not a perfect little happy, unrealistic positive ray of light for everybody at times. I like to see the best of the negative and positive qualities of things and life.
I learned that it will all be ok and I may not be the best for others, but I don't need to be.
I need to be the best for me to breathe and live and remain at peace.

A peace that 13 years of teacher others has shaken me to my very core and like Mother Earth, I am happy to know that you are still on the journey with me and everybody else with Hopes of a better Now.

Much love to all my Student Teachers.

'Maktub,
Claudia