Pleaser or Pushover
“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;”
It’s okay to want to please others. It might make you happy to make someone else happy, but the thing is….
Sometimes the other person takes advantage and then you can easily become a Pushover.
Think about simple experiences in your life growing up.
Did you do things to make your parents or friends happy?
Did you sacrifice your dreams for someone' else’s?
Were they aware of it? Were you aware of it, but thought best to convince yourself differently?
Did you tell another person what they wanted to hear?
Were you too afraid to have a Conversation?
You know a Conscious Conversation.
One that might fall into terms of Disagreeing or maybe even Agreeing?
Did you have your Ego to lose? You know that silly thing labeled the Ego, that you can’t really touch yet you see it and believe it and it isn’t really real? Or did you make it real?
““Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,” ”
Growing up I wanted to make my parents proud. Maybe just like you. or not like you.
Then one day I realized that it was my life, not theirs. They had their own, I was part of it, but mine was mine.
I remember when my sister was going to graduate university and it was so important to my dad that we graduate. But the thing is, he didn’t agree with one thing that meant a lot to her, so he didn’t go.
I looked at him and was like, well…. guess what. I won’t be graduating so you won’t have to worry about not going to mine.
College wasn’t for me.
Education doesn’t have to be a physical institution for me.
Education is Life. And there is nothing wrong about going to college, it just isn’t for everybody. And I tried it for 4 years.
I studied Business and then was like…blah blah blah… So I shifted to sculpting and art and then the Sculpting teacher critiqued my work and when I asked to see hers, she said she didn’t have any???? Really….? Really?
So while I went to USF, I chose to dive into skincare and went to a trade school. Lorraines’ Academy in St. Petersburg, Florida.
I had bad bad skin. And there I met a Chinese Medicine Doctor and that was the beginning of new studies for me.
My skin improved and so did all of my health.
And who would have thought… so did my journey into guiding others.
“”And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
.Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.” ”
I specialized in acne and precancerous lesions. I thrived at helping others and am so proud of what I accomplished. And to think, if I would have kept on trying to live into Papi’s dream of graduating college, then I wouldn’t be exactly where I am today.
I have an Incredible Partner, a Fearless Creation, and an amazing extended Yoga Familia.
It was far from being peaches and candy. I struggled. I divorced.
I lost my savings, while in a codependent relationship. I got out.
I awakened to I the thought of Pleasing ME first.
It wasn’t an option for me to be a Pushover. To Sacrifice my Path for living in someone else’s.
Why not? B/c that is not how I am bred.
As a Conty we are Fearless and Persistent in doing what we want when we want it.
As an Acosta, we know our Self Worth. Period.
We are ALL Fearless one way or another. We all know our Self Worth.
We just forget.
We get too caught up in the Spirals of Life and lose sight of the Real Pleasure.
Self Pleasure.
In these times, there is so much Fear of being Genuine, of Rising Up and Pleasing the Self First is mandatory. At least it is in my eyes.
When someone tells me they don’t want to burden me or bother me….. I tell them I wouldn’t be doing what I am doing if I thought they were an inconvenience. I love what I do and the people that the Universe places in my path and me in theirs. And if they are here for me to wake up, guess what…. I get it. And they can flip the switch and I will choose how long it will stay on or turn them Off.
I Challenge others to be Self Pleasers, and let’s make it clear, that that is separate than Selfish. Being Selfish is just ugly. And Selfless takes on a need for Pity, which I don’t entertain either.
SelfNess as Amy Pierce, my long ago Spiritual Minister, would say is that Healthy Medium.
In other words, don’t break your back or your Spirit to tell others what they want to hear. Have a conversation with them.
Energetic Being to Energetic Being.
And know that it is okay to disagree and maybe even agree.
Liberate Yourself, or figure it out the hard way.
“I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”
