My Brace in a Leap of Faith

As you may know, I moved to NC to experience the seasons. Seasons that are hidden in Florida and Puerto Rico.

In this journey here I began a newer and better version of my life and love.
A  greater love for myself thru suffering, anger, pain, and sadness.

MY Boricua way is such a Yin Yang. We can be fiery like the Soleil or Flowy like the waters that surround my beautiful Island.

The Earth there isn’t the most stable or there wouldn’t be some many little potholes. So we dance to play alongside the movement of the tides.

One day Chris said to me…. I never knew anybody that could pitch a fit and then get over things so quickly.  That is the blood of the Boricua. We are very passionate. We can release that Anger if taught properly.

We just can’t let it stick. When we do all hell breaks loose. Within us.
I have experienced extremely unhealthy Angers in my life. From Myself and others. And the resolution has always been different.

Mental Health is so real. I can’t encourage enough to find the right therapist for each one of us and our communities that help build us up.

For me, I first look at me. My mantra as a child has been “ Claudia, I have the POWER within myself to get thru this.” I talk to my Cells. I used to write it on mirrors with lipstick or eyeliner.
It got me thru so much for so long and still does. It will always be my mantra.

Then I look at my family. My Parents and Sister. What did I learn from them? What did they learn from their families. How did we coexist? If we can’t coexist with one another in our direct homes growing up or even learn how to better understand one another, then there will be rocky roads outside.

Going into the world, the one thing I loved and still do is Love. I LOVE - LOVE.

I tried a marriage, The slipper fit temporarily. I tried another, no Bueno, and then another…..

Who was willing to grow with me? Who was I willing to grow with?
We are all perfect, bc there is no other person like us. Growing with someone, showing up to do the ugly work of better understandings…. That is the hardest thing to commit to. The only way to know is to Experience the Experiences.

Clearly there are ‘red flags’ and so easy to lie to ourselves bc of what “we want.”
And it isn’t until we stop the lies to ourselves that we can see our truest potential.

Jumping into my relationship with Chris was all a leap of faith. Trusting that the stars aligned. I never met someone that saw me fully without knowing me. Soleil & Opal said he was Golden and they would follow him anywhere. So I did.

Within 10 months we had our 1st date.
A 10 day road trip to Florida in Dec.
He tossed everything and moved in in March. He literally showed up on my doorstep with a bag and a Bombay nightstand. (Yes, we agreed he would move in.)
He proposed in Svanasana/ aka Corpse pose (a death and new beginning) by tracing  ‘Will you Marry Me on my hand’ (make note…. I wasn’t planning on marrying again).
We bought our home June 1, 2011.
We conceived July 19 (Mami’s bday, lol).
We married Fall Equinox that year. And Victoria arrived April 11, 2012 (the day recorded in history of most earthquakes then).

Our world was rocked, just little. All within 10 months.

IT WAS ALL A BIG FAT RISK!!!!!

And a hell of ride. I fortold everything with a love letter I wrote him in Thanksgiving before our first date. We have it framed.
He opened it our wedding night.

You never know how things are going to work out.
We definitely had some rough patches.
He is so Earth and he grounds me. My air and fire meshed with his energies and not always for the best.
We HAD TO AND BOTH WANTED TO DO BETTER.
WE worked thru talk therapy and all we did from marrying, to having Victoria, to changing locations of the studio 2x’s, to building our sacred space in our backyard (which by the way was his idea), to today we figured out how to balance each other out.

We Became One another’s brace for our OWN SPINES, when we need that extra bit of support.

He and our families became our little community. And as the years passed, those that have shown up into our little Casita, on our Sacred land of Love have also become our family. We have such a lovely community. I am so grateful.

So many people has crossed thru our gates. Some shared, some didn’t. Some cried, some laughed. Some ran away. Some stayed.  My favorites are the ones I rubbed the wrong way and then we “shared” with one another, we overcame our disagreements and hurts and found TRUE resolution and we hugged and continue to hug. This is what a tribe is about. Letting our guards downs and sharing and connecting.

Yeah there are a lot of people that just aren’t ready to move past things, to have a conversation, or willing to hug again. So there are other lives they will have with other people. And that will be their journey.

I welcome others into our Sacred Garden, into our little Casita steps from our home, bc we have to branch out and share the intimate times in order for us to connect in this world.

If not then we are just Walking Skins With Trapped Energy. Just waiting to be released.

July 24th we have our Mini Retreat from 1-5 to celebrate Summer and you will need to bring a being to grow and learn with. Extend out of your Skin and connect. It is time.

One step. One Hug or hand at a time.

~ maktub

Claudia