Somedays I drag my feet.

Some days I drag my feet. I feel like I am running in sand. And then I realize, life is slowing me down. And then I am like.... Okay. I got this. My days are filled with lots. Lots I love, with people I love. I am fortunate to homeschool Victoria by my choice. I teach what I love. And I do only what is right for myself and my family. I chose my odd working schedule bc I want to see her grow and evolve to be who she is today. I took my first trip without her for 5 whole days to get my EquineOM certification. When I returned, her voice was different, she was a bit taller, and she moved differently, expressed herself differently and I am just amazed. I created her in my little womb. She is her own and I am here as her guide and guardian. I love her. So then I think. How did I change in these past 5 days? I found a bit more inner peace working with the horses. I felt more relaxed bc of our connection. Not about the poses b/c though we did poses, it was the breathing and the touch that helped me. Yoga got me centered with myself. It opened my eyes to the fact that I was picked on, I don't like bullies and the horses haven't bullied me. People have and for so long I have always had a very small herd.  I don't like confrontation though when something does not feel right I vocalize it, bc if I didn't I can't poo.lol Yup. I hold it in my gut, like I have been stabbed by energy. I was asked in the training to go, connect with a horse and make it walk back, forth, ...But like in life, I wasn't comfortable doing that with an animal I did not know. So I just sat and connected. And that made me happy all by itself. I do like to take things slow and when I get anxious then I go back to my breathing. I sat with this one horse and then we walked a little, and I touched its neck and then I sat, and then we walked.....and that was it. Soon it was falling me. There are so many ways to approach animals or people. I prefer to move slow and when I get anxious, I stop, find my breath and move slower.It was never about the poses. The poses allow the connection to become deeper, with trust, with proper transitions. I did learn what all I hoped for based on what they said we would learn, but I learned all I needed to. This has opened the door for me even more. I absolutely love Victoria like no tomorrow, but I love what horses make me face in a way that they don't make me feel like at times I am failing.They take a different approach. They make me feel like it is all okay and to keep moving slow. And if you see a horse walking sometimes they kinda drag their feet too and that makes me happy.