Killing Time

These days I see the cycles of life and death just like chopping wood and burning the fire.
Wake up
Go to sleep
Wake up again.

I tell Chris…. I am just killing time.
It sounds so strange and Chris doesn’t like to hear me say these words or this perspective.
Thank goodness he has an open mind. Do you?

The reality for me, is that living is just another word for killing time.
Bc
How I kill my time depends so much on how I live my time. We all hear it is about the journey.
And we all know the destination is death…. or is it really? bc the wood turns into the fire which feeds the forest that grows the wood to burn all over again. So awesome!!!!!
Like anger, it is only bad when we stay there, not when we see that it is there to move us forward in out journey.

So with these living journey’s we have mantras, while we kill time.

Lately, One of these mantras I hear a lot of is “ I am getting old”. And I can’t help to ask the person…. “Aren’t we all?”

I think that humans are the only ones to complain about living. And all the inconveniences and obstacles of life as if they are bad. Like is the boulder that changes the path of the river a bad thing?
I think for birds and squirrels, it is a good day when they live. When they make it thru and get to rest to awaken again.
No different when the spring keeps flowing.
As I massage and teach, I can’t help but to meditate on the little squirrels that watch me massage you while I watch them chase one another or bury their little seeds that with luck they will remember where they actually buried their little survival treasure.

And that is their life.
So Simple. Yet really, their obstacle is to not get killed by the hawk or crushed by our cars.

I can’t help to always go back to animals.
If we didn’t have all this nonsense extravagant bs, what would we be like?
What would you be like?
What is your purpose?
How are you killing time until your candle expires?
Will you really choose to allow the boulders to stop the rivers or will you carve your way around them?
Can you recall where you stored all of your survival treasure gifts and abilities that make you you, outside of your storage container?

Would we be content again in simply chopping the wood and burning the fire?

I am enjoying getting to know the wood I chop or paint or stain or carve.
I am enjoying learning the landscape of each body I work on. Seeing clearly thru the flesh into the emotions as I mold the fibers of the muscles. Then shifting the skeleton. Conversing with the cells and Sifting the layers of energy where the owner too can learn to see the potential I see in them. Empowering over Enabling.

When I write maktub, I can’t imagine a better word.
How we treat our physical bodies is such a reflection of our path written like all else has been written.
Ghosts of the past surface in each person on touch, which is why I crave the rivers for cleansing the energies and ghosts of those I touch.

I can see how people will look if they make it to be an elder and what wisdom they will share for others to follow or not follow.

I see how ages of familial history shapes the bodies of learned imitation with subconscious and unconscious observation.
But these are just my perspectives that I don’t share always with the beings I work on unless they and all surrounding beings will benefit from the knowledge. And the reality is that sometimes i just don’t share bc they aren’t ready to receive it and sometimes they think they are and well they really aren’t.
But some are.

But this I will share for sure….
When I massage and sculpt the energies hidden within the fibers. I do it with love. Only love. Or I wouldn’t massage. Why do something if my heart isn’t there?
I massaged Mami when I was little and I limit my work bc I take care of the person on the table as if they were my parent, bc they are a being that participates in this world one way or another.
I care for the welfare of the being that provides me with the opportunity to speak with my hands.
Those that trusts themselves enough to trust me with their Orenda.

I care for the person willing to show up and do the self care work that will make this world a better place.
I care for the person that seeks the help they need.
I care for the person that stops repeating the unhealthy story just to hear the story again and chooses to see that killing time is no different than living time. It is so valuable. But these unhealthy stores seep into the cells and lives and prevent the living and only leave space for the killing.
To say “Happy”, when they want to connect with the repeated confusion that every ouch should mean automatic suffering.

The power to shift the perspective is the same power that will awaken our world. And we could probably all agree that we need some serious awakening. Could also be a Possible assumption on my side, but I am okay with coming to a conclusion for me here.

Bc we hold emotions in your body, doesn’t mean we can’t release them.
It means we can release the emotions and actually be genuinely happy, once the self sabotage disappears.

And the self sabotage doesn’t sound pretty either, but recognizing that we all participate in this little chorus bc the conversations all around the world are about suffering and very little about true genuine contentment.

Let’s shift our emotions together. Nipping self sabotage in the face, waking to our lives, and writing a new story.
You know….. the story that is really yours. The one that will make this world a better place. I am game.

Goodness, this writing feels nice.
I am killing time with writing my truth into existence.
Which really means…..The waters are flowing and It’s all good.

Could the sky possibly run out of water or Shall we recycle together?

~ matub
Happy Winter